


Forever Tormented

by Tinkerus



Category: Anxiety - Fandom, depression - Fandom, it all started when - Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Hope, Other, Struggling, Tormented
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 19:28:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11042766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tinkerus/pseuds/Tinkerus
Summary: A short story about the daily struggles of a young man who has always felt alone but has never really been alone





	Forever Tormented

"You are not worth it” “You are alone” “Just give in". I’m shivering, but how can I be shivering? Its only autumn, I’ve got my old grey jumper on and I’m walking the same path I take every week. There’s something different, something has changed. What’s changed? I don’t understand. The street I’m walking down is so familiar to me. The two lamp posts that sit at separate ends of the long narrow stretch of road just barely provide enough light to cast shadows. It’s like one of those streets that is just off the main street but still has all the shops along it. I’m walking straight with my head down, the bustling crowd of people walking all around me. I’m walking straight with my head down noticing every crack and every broken piece of concrete. This street was so familiar to me. Everyone just seems to be moving out of my way, I can hear them all chattering but I can’t seem to make out what they are saying exactly expect for those specific three. Something is different, I raise my head from the staring contest I was having with the moldy covered ground and start looking around. I’m alone, but how? I don’t understand. I could have sworn I heard them all talking, where was voices emanating from if not my own head. "You are worthless” “How can you live with yourself” “no one cares" I frantically look around searching for the change that I can feel but can’t see. Where are the voices coming from? I continue to look around getting more and more anxious. I still could not see anyone even in the hazy light cast down by the overhanging lamps. The path is empty except for the few cars that pass by from time to time. I turn one last time looking into the shop window; it’s so shadowy that I can barely make out my own reflection. I’m not the only reflection I can see. Somehow with my knees clanking together like old church bells, petrified of what was in the reflection my legs continued to drag me forward. There are three people walking around me. They were tall, skinny, hooded figures with their hands in the jackets just walking beside me as if the world was made seamless and they were untroubled. They just trailed me. Each new shop I walk past I recheck the windows. There they are again, matching me pace for pace, one either side of me and one behind me. "Just give up” “No one wants you here” “Just end it" I look back down to the ground but I can still hear them. hmm somethings different, I don’t understand? The voices, they aren’t new. The walk, no that’s the same, my clothes, no I’m still wearing my old dirty sneakers, my shorts, singlet and old grey jumper. My beanie keeping my ears warm, yet I’m still quivering? What’s changed? I cannot comprehend it. "You are pathetic” “Your life is worthless” “No one can help you" "Hey, are you okay" hmm I don’t understand? What’s changed....wait... a forth voice? There have never been four before. I don’t want to look up, I’m too frightened. A forth voice, I’m so lost. I don’t understand? "Leave everyone behind” “You will be alone forever"" You will always be a burden too everyone around you" "Hey are you okay? Hey umm, can I walk with you? You look like you could use some company" my head shoots up and I stare directly at the shop windows again. Panicking now I notice that there is a forth figure on my far side. The reflection showed she was shorter than the rest, and dressed differently. Hesitantly, I slowly chance a look and I’m startled. I can’t believe there’s a real person walking beside me, looking back into my eyes. She’s really cute; she reaches out and grabs my hand. "YOU ARE USELESS” “YOU ARE PATHETIC” “YOU MEAN NOTHING” “You look like you need some company and someone to be by your side for a while". The forth voice, it’s so loud it’s drowning out the others I don’t understand, is this her doing? I stare at her in bemusement, is she more powerful than the other three? Her voice is so overpowering as opposed to theirs. I stutter and struggle to reply “well, I don’t know what to say. I would love your company" I stare back down at the ground and we just keep walking, the same street, with my same clothes the same everything. I finally understand, the change, it was inside me. I’m not really walking alone, she has always been beside me and I’ve just never noticed it. She’s always been there for me yet this is the only time I’ve heard her voice louder than theirs. "Stay with me Isabelle" I whisper softly still looking at the ground. "Always Jesse" I feel her squeeze my hand and my body stops quaking. A slight smile crosses my face and we keep walking. The peace settling in my mind as the voices slowly fades off into the innermost sanctums of my ever implosive mind, biding their time and waiting to return.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first short story and i hope you like it. any feedback would be amazing :)


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